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Posts Tagged ‘asking for guidance’

And now for something completely different . . .

To Health!

He sipped his beer slowly, methodically. He blew what little foam remained floating ever so lightly, just so as to make it feel the breeze of his breath without actually moving it closer to the side of the mug. He raised the edge of the cup to his lips and took in a sip, letting the bitter sweet rest and pool briefly on his tongue before swallowing it down, replacing the mug to the coaster where it had sat before. He stared into what foam remained as though trying to gaze into the deepest recesses of the universe.

“A women is it?” Pete tried to draw his attention away from a distant galaxy.

Instead Pete was given a reply by subspace from some distant region, his gaze remained fixed and unflinching as he responded without altering his facial expression or appearance of concentration, “Naw, haven’t had one of those to think about in longer than I care to think about. Fact is I really aint got anything to do, and I haven’t had a drink in a bar in a long time. How bored’s a fella gotta be to wonder into a bar to savor his favorite beer in a glass poured to him by another man because he just can’t think of anything else to do with his life? House is clean, TV is the same old shit since Shakespeare told by a fresh pair of tits, fiction books are about the same without the tits, and there’s nothing I feel like learning to crochet or diet; don’t feel like learning to be the Buddha this week. Christ, I’ve even listened to my 557 CDs enough times to choke a moose. This was the most creative idea I could come up with, and I aint here but to sip slowly on the same type of beer I’ve been drinking for over 20 years. I know what I like, I stick to it!”

“And you say you don’t have a creative bone in your body?”

“Actually, when I’m not pushin’ paper at the office, I’m painting. I’ve been through school to learn different ways to go about it. My style changes with wind and mood alike. I know myself well enough to know I’ll probably be painting a mug of beer in about 27 different ways shortly after I get home. Life as I know it just don’t seem fulfilling right now. Creativity or not, here is the beer to give me a perspective out of the ordinary.”

“How long did you say it’s been since you’ve . . . uh . . . thought of a women?” Pete asked hopefully.

He took a moment, looked up from the couple of suds left at the top of the liquid, and smiled. His gaze returned to the Crab Nebula. Despite this, his voice couldn’t conceal the hope of hope as he responded, “Petey, I may have something more to paint when I get home than merely beer.”

Without hesitation or method, he raised the cup to his lips and took in a long swig. Putting it down, his throat felt satisfied as he saw the outline of his own solar system begin to emerge in what he saw remaining in his cup.

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A deeply personal meditation for me as I enter the New Year. May the New Year bring joy to my readership and also all in this world.
How Long?
“I feel trapped between a rock and a hard place!”
“How cliché.” She smiled a little as she watched him writhe in his own mental anguish.
“But it’s as accurate a way to say it as any I know.” He frowned. “Everything I’ve lived over the last three decades tells me I’m an idiot if I look at anyone but her. But how long am I supposed to wait for her to speak to me? It’s been more than twenty percent of my life I’ve waited with her in mind; struggled, grown, worked; become something more than a lazy shit-head dominated by fear. How long am I supposed to wait?”
“You’ve already described to me the ways you feel inadequate in your life. Is that really what you wish to offer her? Sex is easy to come, like the much touted quad-hourly bus, if that’s all you want out of your life. But, as I understand it, unexpected children aren’t cheap and you’re already pretty ashamed of your debt . . . caused by necessity though it may be.
“You ask me how long you’re supposed to wait? I think the answer to that question is another question. How much do you really love her?”

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I’ve felt myself in a bit of a rut lately; I find I’ve been having a similar conversation again and again. In this conversation I am asked about my writing to which the response is always the same, “I find myself keeping up with my blog consistently, but am hard-pressed to find time to write any stories.”

If you’ve read my “About” page you know that I started this blog originally to facilitate interest in my book. I think it’s a very good exercise for many reasons, amongst them it keeps me writing, but something finally occurred to me. Feeling my rutage, but not quite sure that it was a rut, I decided to give myself a day to find a quiet place away from what I was used to, where I could be alone. And by quiet, I don’t mean physically. I decided I’d like to find a beach I’d never been to some ways away from where I live; preferably a beach with very little people visiting it. My idea was to find a beach I could have to myself for a short period so that my mind could be uncluttered, and thus un-compact itself in such a way that I could be presented from the whole of everything an answer to what was irritating me. And so, I found my isolated beach and asked my question. And so I was pointed to an answer. . .

You see, if you’re serious about asking a question to the whole of all existence, it happily guides you toward the answer. Being aware that a lot of stimulus might confuse me as to what was an answer and what was background noise, I began my journey in a “quiet” space. I put myself into a meditative state so as to be open to a response, and then . . .

First I needed to relax myself, because I haven’t been relaxed lately and just taking a moment purely for myself to unwind under the sun on a blanket on a nice day was the first step to realizing what would be helpful from where I was. To put it another way, the first step toward doing what is most helpful in one’s life is always to begin by doing anything helpful for one’s self, anything health-full for one’s self.

And so, after some time in the sun I felt like putting my shirt back on, at which point I decided to check the time. And so I noticed at that point I had no cell-phone reception, since, my phone is also my “watch.” And that irritated me to start moving to somewhere with reception, because, I didn’t mean to be completely cut off.

I’ll not bore you further with the rest of the details, but, as I was in-transit, I was reminded of a conversation I had a couple nights prior with Natasha Muse. She’s pretty funny . . . Anyway, we had been discussing monotony, and as I thought about our conversation about doing the same thing again and again, I was reminded of the conversation I’ve been having exactly the same recently about not having time to write stories lately, but consistently finding time to write at least 500 words a week for my blog. And then the obvious hit me . . .

So, what I am saying is this: 1) If you ask a sincere question from the whole of everything, A) Ask it under a circumstance that is “quiet,” i.e. under which you can be receptive to an answer beyond background noise that might distract you, and B) You will receive an answer, make no mistake.

2) This blog as it has been is undergoing, as of now, a transition as I begin what I pray is the last leg of a journey leading to, amongst other things, getting back to writing stories. This doesn’t mean there won’t be more posts by me, it just means that a few things are going to change, first and foremost, quite possibly, how often a post goes up.

And when the posts do go up, I’m thinking I’ll be posting fiction.

The conclusion was inevitable provided I be serious. If I’m irritated that I can’t find time to write stories, the time I’m spending writing, since it is quite a bit over time, ought to be devoted to writing stories.

Now, that being said, I think I’ve laid out over the last year a pretty clear conception of the divine that is more helpful to one’s hand and life than many other story books that have been written over the years. And, for the careful reader, I have also provided ample links to texts for continued reading for anyone who is legitimately curious at all about the rather simple workings of the whole of creation. If I receive any questions for clarifications sake, however, on the topic matter about which I have been expounding the last year, I’ll be happy to post for the week in response. My intention as of after this post, however, is that the posts that go up will be my work at my craft as I would intend it to be, rather than wiseacring over the general workings of G-d.

So with that I bid you adieu for the moment. Check back next week and I’ll have a story prepared . . . until then . . .

PEACE! . . . er . . . Peace.

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This week a short and simple prayer. And if you are one who is disinclined to pray to anything regardless of gender, cultural background, or inconceivability of consciousness, then to you I say, “May your actions contribute to said ‘prayer’ manifesting for the sake of yourself and those whom you value.”

A Prayer:

May I be a mirror capable of reflecting only light,

May the light that touches those around me brighten their own view,

May they see clearly the beauty of their own existence, and may they see clearly how best they can make their own life more beautiful,

And may they see of me beyond their own image ever a smile to share joy in existence with the light they bring, and the light they would desire to bring.

May the work of my hands ease the pain of any who suffer,

May the work of my hands inspire any close at hand to take hand in easing the suffering of those around them.

Amen!

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