This one just kind of slinked its way into my brain and so I started tapping . . .
Everyone Loves . . .
I slink through the creek bed under a low cool stream across the smoothed stones. I then slink onto cool, mossy sandy shore over logs and through bushes. I slink up a tree to rest for the night. Slinking is all I do, you see, I, am a slinky.
Now, I know what you’re thinking, that’s just plain silly! But, It’s true. What you don’t realize is that after the last election, when Mitt Romney became president, he launched a nuclear attack against Iran, accidentally sent one of the nukes into Israel, Israel fired back at the U.S., then China fired at Israel because they wanted their money from the U.S., the U.S. fired at China because the U.S. always has the back of the holy land, and Pakistan started firing in every direction because it got scared, which of course set India off, and all you people died in a horrible fiery mess because you didn’t learn your lesson the last time you hired the town idiot to be president. Of course, the truly odd thing is the way my species was created because of the radiation. The cockroach people of Marseilles were created due to the increased ambient radiation, but not my species; not directly anyway.
No, we formed a slightly different way. After the blasts, several Slinkys went slinging off in different directions from the sheer force of the explosions alone. Those with the most momentum wound up slinking at before unheard of velocities through all sorts of different animal and vegetable matter. A slinky passed through some lichen, the carcass of a opossum, picked up a couple of ants, got wound up in some tree leaves, was drenched in the blood of a moose, then wound up in the festering radioactive abdomen of a human being. After stewing in that abdomen for about five minutes all the genetic material fused, and a new species was born. Imagine if a worm had a spine and was hairy!
Of course, that wasn’t the only of our species created. I mean, that many Slinkys flying off at such high speeds in that many directions through all that raw genetic material with so many radioactive human torsos to incubate in, the odds were simply in the favor of the genus of slinkskus that day! And so, depending on the region where the Slinkys flew and the indigenous flora and fauna of those regions, accordingly different species of slinkskus emerged. Basic evolution for you really.
So, about 500 years after the fact, here I am slinking through a lush wood in North America. We’ve developed a basic society in which we share whatever we need with each other and serve each other all we can give to make each other happy to the best of our individual abilities. We work together to make sure that none are ever wanting the basics for living healthily enough to be able to cultivate more individually than merely health. And the rule of our society on all parts of the world is simple and thereby successful: First, do no harm. It’s sad that the human beings weren’t able to conceive of a concept so practical and so simple, but, you can’t really hold a stupid bunch of primates accountable can you? I mean, that’s the thing about lower intelligence, you just can’t hold it against them for not thinking in terms of their own best interests.
Tygarjas Twyrls Blog 