Tygarjas Twyrls Blog

If you’re new to this story, you may wish to start In The Beginning . . .

Chapter 2

And so, as joy began filling them as they knew themselves becoming in terms of body, at the height of their joy, as Luciferous had shown to experience but moments ago, now, with mouths full and fruit half way down each of their gullets as they watched the next stage in Luciferous’ evolution, they paused in themselves between the joy they were physically feeling, and the horror he began experiencing, and they all knew simultaneously in that moment “in between” what Luciferous had not known: anticipation.

Each with hand on fruit, they stuffed one fig into their mouths before reaching for another to continue the ecstasy of sensation. And as bodies formed legs they floated from spirit to form onto the Earth and felt almost as rooted as any tree, as they had not yet learned that their legs could walk from the dirt gravity held their feet steadfastly too. Even in the unpleasantness of growing anticipation, they felt most in the simultaneity the joy of becoming so much as they saw the humans existent. They felt joy in body and being.

As they pondered that their roots could move as they experienced Luciferous chase so naturally, automatically, after that being that had come from himself, without any thought given to it, before they had a chance too to test their own volition, from them two sprung forth of themselves. And they began to know in experience much like Luciferous had already come to find out. Before the terror of the pain they didn’t know they were feeling upon separation, they felt the desire for their other half forming, and the joy of beholding what they so immediately longed for as they formed.

Captive to the attention of themselves, all looked in a direction away from the tree they surrounded as they multiplied from one to two, the pleasure of desire superceding the terrible pain they would all soon realize. Almost simultaneously vaginas pulled from penis’, penis’s pulled from vaginas; the androgyny of the angels begat the duality of their own being, one left behind by the other as the other left that the other might fulfill themself. Around the tree the transformation took place of division; they knew not that they were losing their unity, nor did they know that so soon it would be unity they would seek. First, around the tree, all they knew was the joy in seeing their other.

Some chased immediately as Luciferous had done, others stood transfixed by the beauty of their other, not quite sure what to do but stare as slowly, automatically their arms began to reach out for themselves. And the other explained to each that it was themselves that they were becoming that they might fulfill their intentions of being created on this Earth to help cease the pain of the Humans they had all had spiritual hand in creating to begin with. Each explained to the first that until they became who they came to be, they could not be whole, again know the infinite joy of unity with themselves, who also most longed to be with themselves, but for the sake of the true desire still embodied in them to do what they came here to do, they must now leave until they were able to give of themselves what the truth of themselves truly wished to.

Male and female wept to see themselves leave. Male counterparts held firm the shoulders of female, previously, angels as they explained who they were; holding their female selves just close enough one last time, kissing their hands with both of theirs so sincerely before walking away. Female counterparts knelt on one knee huddled, not looking up into the eyes of their confused male beings as they explained why the desire surging through them could not now be quenched. They kissed the foot of their man very lightly and with a single tear drop before running at full sprint toward millennia away where the promise lasted of meeting again. Held the men’s faces, kissed there cheek and smiled goodbye as slowly they walked away, letting their form seen fully as the men salivated and wept a hatred of all they were left as being. Chases took place all around, and to no avail, as other selves climbed high in trees to explain their existences from a safe distance where their counterpart could not know self restraint. Others fell to Earth much as Luciferous had, knowing the creation of Earth and water, but not from the fall of rain.

And as they were being deserted, as pain ripped through them all to know the loss of themselves who they most wished now, in every sense, to know, the first tragedy befell them. Back turned to the tree, staring after themselves in bitter sorrow, in confused desire giving way to the horrible pain of incompleteness, some understanding that there was nothing they could do for millennia to come, at least, to be whole again, and others so overcome that they couldn’t restrain themselves but pursue themselves despite themselves, not believing the futility of chasing what they had not yet earned from the work of the fullness of the intention of their being to become, from this morass of pain and confusion came a new emotion. And with rage Lousitous again pursued himself, herself, like an animal that had not eaten for centuries and must consume his prey.

From the outskirts of hundreds on one side of the tree, many seconds after she had kissed his head and turned back into the throng where she otherwise would have disappeared from his sight, pain turned to frustration, turned to rage, and he began knocking the others out of his way as he pursued her with the fullness of each of his footfalls. And on the other side of the tree from where they started, between the tree and the outermost edge of the group watching themselves vanish into ages and mourning the temporary loss of themselves, there he saw side by side two backs that looked similar; one he pursued, and the other one of his own kind.

Antagnous held out her hand still to Angnosis, as he called himself, who had kissed it just moments prior after explaining to her why he must leave. Her pain was washing over her in waves unbearably as simultaneously tears streamed down her face and her groin burned unquenched as she watched the perfectly formed buttocks exiting this circle quickly filling with the pain of lusts unrequited, loves unrelenting, and the empty pain of the wrenching and losing of half of all their being.

Lassicity was very obviously too far ahead for Lousitous to catch and hold as he longed to while she was passing next to the form of Antagnous, who remained still and calm in mourning and pain, hand outstretched where it had been kissed so gently moments before. And her back looked almost exactly as Lassicity’s as he saw them for that brief moment stopped together side by side. And then by her next footfall, Lousitous saw her buttock bounce as his hardness strained toward what his body wanted almost as badly as his heart. And as he continued considering Antagnous’ back still within his same field of vision, so very similar to the muscled femininity he had been pursuing with the hurt of desire for wholeness, it was not many strides later that his physical frustrations gave way to his knowledge of futility, and he chose in a way none their, nor anywhere, had considered prior; and he knew not the consequences of himself as he chose from the fullness of his pain in that moment, scarcely cognizing that he was in fact choosing, for in every part of him, mind, body, emotion, he knew that what he chose was not the truth of what he wanted.

And he gave himself up to his knowledge of futility, and the pain he wished not to so completely be engulfing him as it was. And Angnosis was still in view of Antagnous’ eye and hand as Loucitous pounced. She screamed as they fell together.

He wrapped his arms around her, one across her belly, the other around her chest and his hand found itself a firm hold, as he thrust himself into her, and they began their decent to the ground. He became like a wild beast as he knew the pleasure of her warmth fully, hard, repeatedly. She stayed motionless in shock of all that had happened since she had perceived a hand form of herself and it was bringing the fruit the hand was conceived around toward what next existed as her mouth. She felt an emptiness she could never have conceived existed for her experiencing as something in her body was being deeply gratified so very suddenly and the intense pain and agony that had commenced moments prior was now being distracted by the pain of falling, of being used, and the glimpses of something resembling pleasure she was grateful that distracted her from the way her heart continuously burned, much as her groin had burned but few seconds ago. Grateful for something to feel other than the beginnings of pure misery that had just been robbed from her by whomever was now pounding into her body more or less the way she was designed to be pounded into, she began responding, moving herself with and towards the other that her pain might dissolve further. Ever so slightly, it did.

And she responded. She responded as he took his anger, his blistering anger at having already lost when he hadn’t even begun, and grabbed hold of what resembled what he could not now have. He took his most animal impulse and gratified what his body yearned for, what it lacked in separation from his true self. He took Antagnous and felt fully a body much as the one that he had lost along with something good and pure and true about himself that now burned with absence. He distracted himself from his burning chest by gratifying the basic usage of his aching body on this fellow being who too had lost, who was in form supple where he was rigid; soft where he was hard. His strength easily possessed her, and as he took her, he found himself loving her flesh; that her body made his emotions of madness for what had befallen him dissipate slowly as his being gave way fully to the sensations of directing all his energy into the functions of his single outcropping body part. He felt eerily calm as his hands roamed freely and happily to be feeling a form so much similar to the one he had wished so to enwrap him mere moments ago. And as she began moving with him, willingly, his pleasure grew.

And so too did hers as they moved together upon the ground; he arching over her as she struggled herself upward upon her elbows and knees in the hard dirt. He pushed forward, she pushed back, and together something very warm and pleasant joined between them. She was grateful for the hands holding her breast, arms wrapping themselves around her, and in a moment in which whatever was building up could not last, like the popping of a bubble the warmth of white light rippled instantly and quickly through her as she gave herself up to him in that moment, and simultaneously, as he could not resist what formed in him as she began shaking in climax, he too relented to the fullness of feeling in himself unto her, and the brief moment of white light also ripped through him. And as their light converged together, in that one point within her, and they released themselves to each other, that light which briefly, immediately, momentarily, flooded throughout each did not negate, nor could deny, the darkness that never left the deepest recesses of either; the unfulfilled yearning of what they had lost, and what their sole purpose was to regain.

Briefly they quivered and shook in each others arms as finally they were still on the ground with everyone else watching them, their others having long since deserted. He instinctively wanted to ever-so-softly kiss the flesh on the back of her shoulder, but with the natural repugnance for himself, merely laid there his forehead as he began to sob in rhythm to the sobbing that had already begun deeply from within her. And she wept bitterly and long, stream from her eyes filling the cracks in the dirt as she felt the betrayal of herself acutely as her emptiness became fully complete and more than ever, with this experience unique among all the others, and even the humans, alone. His self-hatred pierced through him perfectly as he considered that the action of love he wished most to share with Lassicity he had wasted upon impulses only animal and out of emotions horrid, as he took advantage of the suffering of one of his own, and even did her sincere harm by the volition of his brute force. Within the emptiness inside, and the pain of separation, he hated himself perfectly for what he had allowed himself to do out of his sheer lust and hatred of existence. She felt emptiness as though her own existence were freshly nulled as she considered that she gave of herself willingly what she only ever wished to give back to him when they had earned themselves; she felt separated now not only by time and space, but that by her own hand she had separated herself further from him. She wailed from the pain of losing half of herself physically, and the pain of giving what was already being taken, willingly, which she never wished to give to another. She longed not to feel so alone amongst those now staring at her from the pity no doubt momentarily easing the natural pains the others had to experience without making themselves an object used, something degenerate from the necessary pain already bestowed upon them because of the necessity of their form for creation’s sake. He wept that he was alone and empty; a beast among creatures not succumbed to beasthood. She wept that she had been used animalistically willingly, not from love, but the belief that momentarily forgetting the full force of her pain might kill it entirely, praying in the moments before that paltry pleasure that it would not return, only to find herself now carrying a burden that none of them should ever have to bear. He wanted to make her feel now not so alone, knowing that she could not feel even his touch now as he had burdened his sister with a self-hatred that perhaps even his could not rival. And she knew now something that he did not; indeed not feeling his touch from the place more alone than any of the rest of them could conceive knowing, in pain not merely because she had lost so much of herself as the others, but had also been used against her will, and finally by her own volition, her emptiness and loneliness was made all the more complete by the thorough knowledge within her physical form that she now carried with her the burden of a growing life.

Her blood that mixed with his seed flowed out of her in a slight trickle to the Earth as she wailed through cascading tears for all she had already lost.