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Archive for September, 2012

Angels Of Eden: Chapter 1

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , on September 30, 2012| Leave a Comment »

In the Beginning . . .

Chapter 1

And as the others were amidst sensations similar to those Luciferous had had just moments ago that they could only describe by relation as most probably “joy,” with mouths filled in mid-chew or swallow with the Fruit from The Tree, they simultaneously paused in sympathy with this new sensation found so suddenly by Luciferoues: uncertainty. Though, as they watched with these new eye things, they began to understand the answer to the question previously posed to The Lord as to why She had referred to Luciferous as “he.”

And as his vagina began to pull away, leaving in tact of his mind everything he otherwise considered to be himself, what separated off with his vagina was a pair of legs; a pair of beautiful, strong, slender, he felt compelled to suck on for an eternity or two before diving into the main coarse, legs. And his eyes found themselves staring at the hind quarters of what separated from out of his apparent body too, and he considered a second coarse of hors d’oeuvre. Finally, accompanying supper, he found before him a chest he would have liked to have made a night-long desert out of as well as a mouth he wished to drink from for the rest of eternity. In fact, as he seriously considered it, she apparently had two cups he would have cared to drink from unceasingly for the rest of eternity. He also felt something burning and throbbing toward her which wanted maybe even more seriously to be cooled in either of those chalices, ideally, it newly occurred to him, while drinking from the other with his ever thirsting lips.

As though possessing no will of his own, he began walking toward her, and as he did, she stepped lightly away with a twinkle in her eye and a smile on her face. He began walking a little faster, and still smiling she backed away with quick hops. And he continued almost to the point of running as she skipped lightly away, her teeth reflecting the light of the sun over her shoulder the entire time.

She was moving far too quick for him, she was still several paces away now. He broke into a full sprint, and when at last he thought he was close enough, that his speed was high enough, that his momentum and one final thrust forward would satisfy the laws of physics and put her finally in his arms where she could not run from and upon other places of his newly formed body which he knew somewhere deeply within him would create a sort of joy known never in all his many infinities of existence, he lunged forward to capture his prey. He lunged forward just as he was passing the outstretched root of a tree, over which he fell, and felt his mouth fill with dirt as his chin dug deeper than his face would have liked into the ground.

As his eyes found her perfectly crafted toes walk into their view, just out of reach of his tongue, which wished now to nibble this not-before noticed appetizer, she giggled. While too in shock from the feeling of sliding naked into dry, hard dirt to move, she extended her index finger to under his chin and lifted his eyes to hers. For a moment his tongue’s starvation faded to the background as his visual intake saw within hers, her. And while by way of his body he still wished to know her, the feast of seeing her beyond body released in him a need to treat her with tenderness as though she were second only to the God he had served so carefully prior to taking allowance of eating the special Tree’s Fruit and knowing little but dissatisfaction and discomfort since he had. Now something more than just his body wished to partake of her, much as he had The Fruit before he had known himself within the confines of body. Where before having his body with hers was all that propelled him forward, now something told him that chasing her so could not give him what he really wanted beyond the feast that was certainly still such a great part not merely to appearances alone. She continued to smile.

“My name is Lucisity, and I am you. When you become like me, wise in reason to restrain yourself so that accomplishment can be as you desired to be, and be here for, then, again, can you know the ecstasy of being once again whole. Until then, Love, I will create myself as you, the wisdom of action without compromise or thought to the inhibition of the fullness of my intent. But for now I must wait for my self restraint to be yours, as your focus in action becomes mine. When you are able to help them finally, sweet face, only then can we realize the fulfillment of ourself together again, when that time has come that we have fulfilled the will of what created us from most high. They let me know I will suffer practicing helping them much as you, which you still find trouble believing. As I become you more, I look forward to believing my inability to help them, for when that day comes I will be coming to a point when I will be able to help them, just as you discover that there truly was a time when you could not have helped them, as you will be coming to a point finally able to help them. And it is then our joy will find each other at realizing why we ate from The Tree as we finally may feast ourself as now we must try to push to the back of our minds.

“I don’t think I could stop if I touched my lips to yours now, so beautiful are you. Take this kiss upon your cheek, and know that it is the greatest joy my life will ever know until we meet again, God only knows how many millennia from now. I’d extend a further sweet joy of feeling your touch on my cheek, but I believe you would regain the strength to catch me as you tried just moments ago, and our existence would be meaningless as they would suffer indefinitely.”

And with that having been said, she took his face in her hands, stroked his left cheek tenderly with her thumb as she brought her lips to his right. A tear rolled down from the corner of his eye toward his nostril as she gently placed his face back to the indentation in the dirt where she had first lifted it from. As he had the good fortune of watching her walk away, she blew him a kiss over her shoulder, and then disappeared behind a tree indefinitely, and it already began to feel to him like forever.

At realizing finally that beneath the awe of becoming as he was now, himself as newly created, half of him had been ripped from him asunder, he felt the pain of having been thusly torn, and the pain shook every atom of his body as it convulsed on the ground where he howled for days with the pain; and the tears from his eyes for what he had become, what he had lost, how hollow he felt, and how incomplete, formed a puddle of mud about his face. He turned to his side when the watery dirt began regularly bubbling into his nostrils. He held himself through the unbearable aloneness and hurt, a mockery of what the pain of being created had left him to feel; terrible, terrible absence.

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In the Beginning . . .

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , on September 23, 2012| Leave a Comment »

A little nervous to begin, but, begin I must! After considering this to be the best way I have to tell the tale, I plan to unwind this story out in rough-draft quality before your very eyes. Donation button to the right and down if my story strikes a particular chord in a way that’s particularly moving down and to the right, and, otherwise, may one and all enjoy my work for all to freely see. Without further ado, I present to you: The Chronicles of The Angels of Eden

Invocation:

Speak Muse of Love, the infinite striving that holds together and gives purpose to what otherwise is daunting within the possibility of infinity which no individuated existence can ever be able to grasp by virtue of the very nature of differentiation.

In The Beginning . . .

“Didn’t that seem like there was something not quite right about that?”

“Really? You’re questioning how We fulfill Our definition of being by manifesting the absolute infinite in all Our creation rather than letting Us all be bored to death by an otherwise flawless creation? Really? I mean, seriously?”

“It’s just that, they were having such a good time. And they really had no choice but to eat those figs. I mean, you set them up to believe that they chose to be miserable.”

“No, We set them up to learn there was such a thing as a choice. Without free will, they might as well just be two more of the Heavenly host, and you know better than anyone We don’t kneed more of you “running around.” I mean, won’t it be nice having something living for its own sake for a change rather than purely for Ours?”

“You know, I don’t know. I mean, You know I don’t know. As an angel, all I know is to serve You; what do I know of choice or its benefit?”

“Ah now, Our human creatures are interesting, but this is more interesting still. Of course their lives are still rather boring without this latest Thought. We mean, one way or another all return Here, and even you know that Here is all the same, but Let’s now fulfill the last bit of this infinite reflection of Ourself. Take a bite yourself.”

“Is that an order? Or is that just more of Your famous sense of humor?”

“None of that now. Just because you didn’t see this coming doesn’t mean We didn’t. They’ll hate you for it at one point of course; just because it’ll be hard for you to learn in the beginning for a completely different reason. But when even you succeed, harmony will be reestablished. It just takes a few millennia. The hard part for you is what you see when they hate you, but it doesn’t last forever. Nothing ever does, you know.

“But We’ll make it fair. Consider the action of genuine intent even more important than the final action of the creation itself. Or, at least as important. If any of you lean so far as Luciferous, take a bite yourself from the tree. That is, his inclination is strongest as the one of you who had the greatest “hand” in humanity’s creation, and thus the greatest desire to see them truly happy. Any others who wish to help him create in them the friction necessary to embody choice, please partake of the fruit. Those who lean toward continuous service of Us, rest assured you will be given more than enough data to satisfy any more paltry curiosities that may or may not flood your understandings.

“Suffice to say, it’ll all work out nicely for them anyway. Consider no matter that you are all working together anyway, albeit from different perspectives, for their best possible result. And in time, even those of you they learn to hate they will again learn to Love, as you too learn to Love the choice you make that you will first come to loathe; those of you whose curiosity is not merely paltry, that is, and who are suffering sincerely from the perceived constraint of not helping them as you feel instinctively within you, to the point of burning, that you wish to do.”

“Just one question, Lord, when you spoke of Luciferous, what exactly did You mean ‘He?’”

“Oh that. Just take a bite and things will immediately begin to become clearer as quickly as you find them clouding over.”

And with that, Luciferous, in its natural form, began combining its substance with the substance of a fig from The Tree, and as it did, it began to see, as though Luciferous had eyes, and feel the fig, as though possessing a hand, and found that the desire to help those who now suffered brought hand toward what began forming as a mouth by way of what naturally seemed structured as a human arm. Luciferous felt what could only be related to from the human vocabulary as “joy” as a scent filled a nose that apparently was being possessed, and a newly formed tongue tingled with the pungence of the taste of this joining with what Luciferous hoped to help, and the separation from the eternity of the Heavenly host whom it had always served as it wished now to serve those Luciferous separated itself into for.

As they saw Luciferous begin this transformation, and they saw the beginnings of a body shake with apparent ecstasy, for that was the only equivalent they knew with which to compare how Luciferous apparently took its meal, they flocked to the tree to each taste the fruit themselves; that is, all those who wished only with the whole of their being to help humanity in it’s beginning life enfolded by apparent suffering.

And with teeth Luciferous ate, chewed and swallowed down what was forming as “throat” the fruit of The Tree of Knowledge. And then Luciferous began to feel its vagina pull away from its penis, and it didn’t quite feel itself, and began apparently a new sensation of feeling: uncertainty.

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Starting Next Sunday: Tygarjas Twyrls Blog Version 3.0

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , on September 16, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Last year about this time I made a switch to the format of my blog. The time has come to make a minor adjustment once more. Last time it was the obvious answer to a question I had been asking too many times. This time the answer was obvious before the question was even asked. So, after a year of flexing my fiction muscles, I think it’s time for something that better resembles a story than the free-flow-of-thought fiction I’ve been posting up until now.

The idea for this format of publishing came from the great Mr. Dickens. I remember studying his work Great Expectations and learning that the way that book was originally written was by being published week by week, chapter by chapter in the Newspaper at the time. Since my time to write is severely limited by three jobs, I think this format will keep me fairly well together so that a cohesive work will be created sooner than later. In fact, at this moment in my life, this is the only way I can conceive of writing it at all.

In the following weeks, months, maybe years, I plan on unfolding the story of angels who wanted to help the human race. I will tell a tale that begins in the Garden of Eden, and unfolds right up unto the modern age. Their story of how it happens that they came to help, how humanity came to regard them as demons, and how they redeemed themselves by accomplishing the work they chose to exist so as to accomplish.

This work will be presented in rough draft format. After the work is more or less completed there will likely be an editing process cleaning things up and, depending on my mood, altering the story for whatever reason. Though, I do tend to like what comes out the first time and generally don’t like changing my own work much because I think there is value to the art of the first attempt. That being said, I reserve the right to alter my work if it seems appropriate later on. In the meantime, I will present my work in more than less rough draft format with the belief that a good story will be written as its written, and with the desire that such be the case so that y’all will enjoy continuing to read as time goes on.

If you do like what I write, I have a donation button on the side of the page and welcome any contribution. I’d be very grateful if I can earn a living from my story telling alone, so, every bit helps toward those ends. A buck in my proverbial hat now and then is a welcome incentive! Money aside, I am grateful to be fortunate enough in my life that I can share my stories so easily with any audience, and am grateful that anyone may enjoy my work.

To be sure, may you enjoy!

-Tygar

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Last But Not Least

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , on September 9, 2012| Leave a Comment »

Much as around this time last year, I’ll be shortly shifting the focus of my blog. I’ll still be posting fiction, but I’ll write an entry exclusive to the nature of the shift next week.

In the meantime, I wanted to end a year of posting short fiction with one last tale of my recurring character. Here was her first appearance, and here her second. This time the idea came to me while in transit, the idea will unfold in front of me at the computer now. May whatever comes out of me bring something very good to whoever takes it in. Thank you to everyone who has checked out any of my short work, and I hope y’all take the journey with me as I post here starting next Sunday my new work. Peace, and, may you enjoy!

Leslie

Leslie took a step toward getting for herself a cup of water. One step later she felt everything shaking as the floor split open below her, and down she fell.

Past floorboards, and earth, and rock, and dirt, down, down, down. And further, and further, and further. She considered for a moment the end to Don Giovanni, and then decided that her virtue would declare her fate otherwise. She felt no heat as she descended.

After many minutes the light from above began to fade until she was left in darkness, descending. No rumble below her as after the first break of ground, there was nothing below her to open wide. She dared not test the aerodynamics of trying to go in a direction since at this speed she didn’t relish the idea of crashing into the wall of ground, and to what end? Could she climb if she found wall? Why would she want to stop the journey she didn’t ask for, but found herself upon?

Last known location of walls to touch, feet away in any given direction, no bottom in sight, and darkness and quiet surrounding her, she found relief in her fall as she closed her eyes and tried to experience fully the unique situation in which she found herself rather than thinking about what she wouldn’t dare change. So in silence, much to her relief, she let herself continue to fall without thinking of interrupting.

What felt like hours later, she saw the color of the inside of her eyelids lighten, and so opened her eyes. The dirt wall surrounded her with roots poking out out of reach every now and then. The vertical tunnel filled with light slowly as she fell for the next minute. She half-expected to see a white rabbit checking the time shortly before the tunnel flew past and she found herself falling through what seemed to be blue sky, lit from a source apparently far below her and indistinguishable from the blue the light reflected into existence from further than she hoped to fall.

Occasionally a dolphin swam by her, and it occurred to her over time that now that there were no walls to crash into, perhaps if she shifted her body she could choose in someway, if not direction alone, where she fell, and so in some sense fly.

She spread her arms and found that she did not feel as though she fell any longer, but even seemed to be able to will herself upward as she chose. She thought it curious that she’d never felt freedom before, now that she had an eternity in any given direction with nowhere to go.

As she felt her lungs fill, she felt neither hunger nor thirst; flying was all the sustenance needed to satisfy.

As a dolphin came swimming in into view, she flew to it, felt the side of its body. It seemed to like her. They kept each other company as she followed with her new, flippered friend. She had nowhere she wanted to go, so, it led.

The time they spent flying and swimming together was deeply satisfying  to her sense of experience when out ahead they were heading toward a convergence. Dolphins everywhere heading toward, swimming around a brightness hanging in the blue.

And as they approached, it grew and felt happy. The light washed over her in waves of warmth as she patted her companion a final time to say goodbye and dove straight toward the center of the light. She flew toward it faster and faster until coming upon it, she penetrated deep and sure. In she went, and moments later, at its center, there she stopped.

There was no further she could go. Still she found herself resonating outward from what filled her completely, the heart. Warmth flowing from her in every direction as she was the same as it. Perfectly still, without care of body that was satisfied in every way where motionless it arrived. There she was for as long as she’d have liked.

And when she was again outside of it, she saw a tunnel above her leading what her current orientation could call “up” unless she decided to rotate somewhat, which she did not.

Up she flew.

Through tunnel, past dirt, and rocks, and the rest, until she shot up two-and-one-half feet above the floor with just enough time for it to heal itself before landing with ease and grace in front of her water cooler. She took a glass from the counter and filled it. She was satisfied as she drank.

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Local Bar

Posted in Uncategorized, tagged , , , , , , , , , on September 2, 2012| 2 Comments »

I actually don’t spend much time at bars. Symbolically I think I think of bars as a place of reflection.

Cheers!

A beautiful women is looking at me from the other side of the bar. While holding her eyes to mine she’s moving her tongue up and down the outside of her straw before taking small, dainty sips while never for a moment breaking eye contact with me. I sit with my elbow on the bar and my hand on my cheek watching her as I rest, a half a smile as though to say, “How nice to share this moment with you from across the room, your company is pleasant.” She is beautiful, but I have another on my mind.

I haven’t seen her for so long that it would be stupid for me not to consider the loveliness whose eye I’ve caught as the possibility of a nest that would not be shaken by hurricanes; a place to rest my heart after wandering a desert in hopes that my memory of water is not merely one more accursed mirage. I’ve met her before enough to know she is in every way likeable, but not enough to know what the feel of her hand tells my heart and hers after communicating for five minutes apart from the speech of the rest of me. Beauty looks me in the eye and says we both have a basic common denominator; identity says there is nothing glaring to alarm. And yet my mind reminds me as I connect with a friend from a distance that at a further distance yet is the reason regret may exist where otherwise my mind would have no reason to exist.

But because I have a mind, and it remembers another beauty in another time that made my heart pump blood where before it only knew how to process bile, I can’t help but be reminded of another face by whose light I began to live as appropriate to one who should see beauty in friendship across a bar and respect that every face contains a universe that bears exploring respectfully before creating eternities more calling themselves by individual names always striving to declare “I Am.” And in light of the importance of mind to reason the desire to see another universe created to flourish, I say hello and shake hands when she brings her drink to where I sit, and we begin to discuss what we really enjoy for the rest of existence when we are too sated to eat and quenched to drink.

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