Tygarjas Twyrls Blog

At some point I plan to write something, probably fairly lengthy, about how silly the notion is that a particular figure attributed to history died for anyone’s sins given the thousands of people, if not more, still dying for our sins on a regular basis. Or rather, maybe it’ll be about his death being the least of the death stemming from “sins” given the amount of suffering done to otherwise good people because of other people who just don’t want to stop pain, be it to themselves or others. And preceding that I’ll probably have to write something defining the term “sin” as I see them. Which will be a short blogging about more or less one’s action doing harm to others, which in turn necessitates the obvious counter-reaction that that action must thereby cause harm to the one committing the action.

But all that is for a different posting. No, before that one, or rather those, which seem like they’ll be draining enough to write that I want to be well rested when I do so, I think it would be fun to share why I take the particular subject of the divine to write about. And the answer is, I had a question.

At first it was a simple matter of wondering what I was doing here. And actually I think the exact sentiment resonating rather loudly in my being was “WHAT THE FUCK AM I DOING HERE?” The bone of contention with my questions was always the nature of consciousness. By then of course I’d already become well acquainted with the Tao Te Ching of Lao Tzu, and for that matter a smattering of Gurdjieff; I think I’d made it a couple hundred pages or so into BTTHGS. So, if I was made with a cognizance of pain and death, I figured I should know if there was a point to being alive. And the answer I came to finally after a good four years or so of study was that I was here transmuting energy. And if anyone reading this has seen the first Matrix movie, Whoa.

Maybe I’ll do a little more on the topic of transmuting another time, since the Duracell analogy seems somehow severely lacking. Anyway, once I came to find myself a trasmuter, I felt understandably empty. “Ok, I’m turning different substances from one form into another.” I thought to myself. “I could just as easily do that as a dandelion. But here I am with an awareness of suffering, of pain, of my inevitable cessation of experiencing. Something created me like this when I could just as easily be a blade of grass blissfully unaware of the deer eating me?” You see, it had firmly been fixed into my mind by that point in time that given the very limited consciousness I found myself possessing, it seemed inconceivable that the rest of the whole of everything didn’t possess a consciousness more all inclusive and bigger than mine, and since I originally came from it, I figured it must have created me consciously. I admit, I was unhealthily egocentric back then. I’d like to think my ego, while not necessarily any smaller, is at least healthier now. Now of course it’s obvious to me that creation is fairly law-conformable and that the influence of consciousness effects those creations only after the fact and in relation to the specific effect of law that happened to result in that being. But I was young then. So the question finally took to my brain, “So, if I’m here ‘transmuting,’ which I could just as easily have done as an oak tree, what is my potential as a transmuter of the type I find myself, and what’s more, why is such a consciousness of mine existent to begin with? Especially if God is all loving and merciful as I keep hearing even from those who don’t seem to be living based on a fairytale they’ve heard 2000 times too many?” I wanted to know what my potential was, and why I was made to be aware of pain and death if there was a consciousness behind deciding I feel that pain and death.

So, long story short, thinking that others might be plagued by similar such questions, I figure I’d discuss some of the ramifications of what I’ve found to be probable answers, because from my perspective, there definitely are. And the bottom line of those answers wind up being using them so as to be more patient, more compassionate, less self absorbed, and more inclined to work in such a way, because all of life is work make no mistake, that I may be more of benefit to the humanity surrounding me than a burden upon them, since, after all, I was blessed enough to be created by this race of beautiful beings to begin with.

And thank you!

TTFN